Are you wondering whether your long distance relationship will turn into marriage? It’s understandable if you’re not quite sure – after all, LDRs don’t always follow the typical ‘rules’ or timelines that we’re often told need to be in place to lead to wedding bells.
Regardless of circumstances, there are always signs that a relationship has reached that stage where it could last forever. Here are ten of them.
1. You share the same goals – and you have a track record of reaching them
When people talk about successful relationships, emphasis is often put on the first point – shared goals – and it absolutely should be. This is one of the most important factors in whether you should be together long-term. But there’s more to it than that.
It’s important to know that you’re not only good at setting goals as a couple, but at working together and achieving them too.
How can you know that? By working on smaller goals throughout your relationship, such as saving for a holiday or learning something new together. Never stop finding ways to be creative and be a great team 🙂
2. You speak about the future in terms of ‘we’ instead of ‘I’
Maintaining individuality and a strong sense of who you are is really important, whether you’re single, married or in a relationship. Nevertheless, most couples will reach a point when they’ll naturally shift to using the language of partnership and shared responsibility.
Have they (and you) started saying ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ when talking about future choices, such as where to live? Do you ask for each other’s opinion on big decisions like this? That’s a good sign!
3. Your friends and family have embraced them
If your friends and family like your partner and have welcomed them into their lives, that’s a very good sign.
Why is it such a good sign? Because love can sometimes be blind… but if the people who know you best and want the best for you also like your S.O., it suggests that you really are right for each other.
4. You trust them – regardless of the distance
A question that people in LDRs get all the time is ‘How can you trust them when they’re so far away?’. But the truth is, if the relationship is strong there should be no reason for a lack of trust, no matter how many miles are between you or how long you have to go without seeing each other.
If you distrust them (whether for a good reason or not) that’s a sign you’re not ready to take things to the next level. But when trust is there long-term, regardless of distance, this indicates that you’re on the right track.
5. You’re both comfortable talking about marriage
Wedding proposals rarely come entirely out of the blue – most couples touch on the subject of marriage in some way or other before one of them pops the question and makes it official. If you’ve already had this conversation and it felt like you were on a similar wavelength, this indicates that a proposal might not be too far in the future…
If you’ve never spoken about it directly but have tested the waters about their attitude to marriage (for example, if you’ve talked about the type of weddings you like going to) and they responded positively, that’s a good sign that they might be open to talking about it more seriously.
6. The silences aren’t awkward
I don’t know about you, but there comes a point in every relationship I’ve ever been in when I start feeling kind of awkward.
It took me a while to realise that this is a sign that my feelings are getting more serious and I’m beginning to feel self-conscious about whether they feel the same way. Basically, I start overthinking things because the outcome matters so much to me!
If things are really meant to be, that period passes. And when it does – at least, in my experience – things often feel much more natural and comfortable than they did before. If you’ve also reached this stage where you both feel relaxed and content around each other, even when there’s nothing profound to say, that’s a good sign that you’re compatible long-term.
7. You’re your best self when you’re with them
I’ve said this before and I’ll never stop saying it: the most successful relationships – the ones that are deeply fulfilling and make you think ‘this is it’ – are the ones where their support makes you feel like you’re free to be yourself and motivates you to be the ‘best version of you’ that you can be. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true.
This means they cheer on your efforts and celebrate your achievements, even if what you’re attempting is something they wouldn’t choose (here I’m talking about things that aren’t in conflict with your shared values but which may be very personal interests – like running a marathon, learning to code, or whatever is your particular passion). They make you excited about life and its possibilities. And you do the same for them.
8. You’ve been through hard times and come out feeling stronger
LDRs are challenging at the best of times, but they become even more so when difficult life events happen to one or both of you.
Whether this is a serious illness, lost job, family emergency or something else, this is the type of thing that tests the strength of your communication and your overall compatibility as a couple.
Have they been there for you, even at the worst of times? Have you been there for them? If so, this suggests you’ll continue to be each other’s rock in the future.
9. Your relationship is well-developed in all areas
One challenge of LDRs is that they often tend to progress inconsistently. For example, you might have a very well-developed intellectual connection with your partner, but lack a strong physical one because of the distance. Similarly, it’s difficult to create a strong sense of the two of you as ‘an item’ in each other’s social circle, because you’re often absent.
It takes effort to have a balanced relationship when you’re long distance, but if you’ve both put in the necessary work, this indicates that you’re invested in the long-term outcome.
10. You still make effort with the little things
It’s easy to be on your best behaviour when you’re still in that ‘honeymoon phase’ of a relationship. Whenever we first fall in love, we’re likely to be considerate of the details, like remembering all their little quirks and preferences.
If you’re out of that first flush of love but you’re still making the effort to do the small things that matter, that’s a very good sign that you’ll be together for the long haul.
So… what now?
If you know you want to be with your long distance partner forever, what is the next step?
Before you take the plunge, check out these posts: